Evolutionarily lust is an integral part of being attracted to one another. The idea of pro-creating has been infused in every living thing across every species and being. The way birds display their colorful array of feathers to attract mates, the parading of the flamboyant patterns of butterflies, bucks demonstrating vitality by locking horns…
Maybe lust is just an evolutionary need to keep the cycle of life going. With lust comes initial physical attraction that can lead to a deceiving idealization or projection of expectation or a favorable outcome…
It might feel like “I need immediate gratification,” An urge! Who says it’s right or wrong? What does lust feel like? Maybe it is the feeling of freedom; it is the feeling of independence, “no strings attached.” It could be wanting more without an emotional attachment. It all depends on your perception.
Lust has a lot of bad reputation because there is a very superficial understanding of what it is, but lust is where one can essentially build other things. Lust may be selfish, but it can also be defined as self-seeking! I believe it is important to keep us as a center. We as humans are too occupied with the idea of “others.” Through lust, we develop much more intense connections such as self-awareness, self-need, self-purpose, and this can all lead to answering the questions of “what I am and what can I give”?
You know what lust looks like to me?
When I wake up on a lazy Sunday morning craving a big brunch,
French toast in a brioche bread tossed in butter…
Topped with strawberry ice cream, with a lemon cheesecake filling,
A cheeky drizzle of strawberry compote,
A side of bacon or a sausage patty,
It looks like everything I would regret in the evening!
To me, it is that guilty pleasure, that immediate gratification. The things I consider on days like this is,
- I do not have to wake up every day and have a perfect meal. It is okay to give my body cravings, which does not change my long-term goal.
- It is normal to think about what I want at this very moment and not relate everything to my future outcome.
- I listen to the needs of my body and my mind.
The big question now is, what is love? According to Crastnopol (2006), she quotes “Love at any age is so often like this-gripping and unbidden, mixing the companionate with the romantic, the romantic with the sexual, the sexual with the desire to merge and generate something further together.” She started with lust and ended in love.
I would have to disagree that love is only sexual. I can say that I have a love for living things such as plants and animals without having a sexual desire. I do not want to get wrapped up in the singular understanding of love between partners. But I want to expand on love towards everything.
I am sure we have questioned our love for someone, wondering if it is true love? When I searched the internet for the definition of love, it gave me tips on finding out if my partner was in love with me in 20 different ways.
Love is what we understand. It is our genuine emotion towards something or ourselves. It is the selfish and centered focus but now learning how to shift to another, remember to share the independence, and share gratitude. It takes time and effort to build love!
Now don’t be mad if I drool over the description of food on what love means to me. That is how I express my love for art. Food is my art! Love to me on a plate looks like…
A comforting bowl of lentils with spices, coconut milk, a hint of ghee…
A plate of fragrant basmati rice,
Scrumptious side of potato fry,
Topped with some papads…
An Indian homemade food all wrapped up in one nutritious, vibrant, and healthy divine meal.
Now that to me is love because …
- I woke up and listened to what my body needed that day.
- I decided to cook my meal with the intention of staying healthy.
- I made sure I gave enough carbs, greens, proteins, and enough fluids.
Love, Lust, & Wellness
How are love and lust contributing to one’s wellness? How can understanding the difference between lust and love towards one’s self and others help? Is this truly the key to self-awareness which can lead to a more mindful life?
As Joseph Fleming said, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” We have to be complete through acceptance, understanding, and fulfillment of our own. Only then can we better provide and allow for someone else. This is why I genuinely believe lust can be the start of self-seeking, which can essentially lead to something more deep-rooted. It all begins with focusing on one’s needs, making yourself a priority, knowing what you do not have enough of, and giving yourself those needs first, whether time, love, confidence, trust, motivation, etc. By replenishing one’s own life and needs, we align ourselves with what we want in our life. A person should be complete with one’s self, and as a result, it enables you to find exactly what you are looking for, and then you can ponder over questions like,
- What am I looking for in life?
- What are my needs?
- How much time and energy am I ready to invest?
- Am I prepared to give the same in return?
- Do I have self-love first to receive and give love?
- Is there any part of my life that needs attention first?
- If so, how can I recognize it and work on it?
The questions are endless! Whether it may be love or lust, “you” are where it all starts! Put yourself first and focus, and think about who you are and what you want to attract in your life. Ask yourself some questions and find out what the word “love” and “lust” means to you? How can you prepare yourself for what you want and work towards your higher conscious self? In the end, it is all about finding out who you truly are and what is the truth that you hold, genuinely listen to your heart and your body and resonate with it.
With Intention, Laura Zozimus
Crastnopol, M. (2007). The Rub: Sexual Interplay as a Nexus of Lust, Romantic Love, and Emotional Attachment. Psychoanalytic Dialogues, 16(6), 687–709. https://doi.org/10.1080/10481880701357354